


Too Late

by Zerrah



Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Loss of Virginity, Masturbation, Secret Relationship, Smut, Spoilers for all books, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-06-10 05:24:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15284619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zerrah/pseuds/Zerrah
Summary: Now that Voldemort has infiltrated Hogwarts, Ginny wants to repress her memories and confusing desires, but it's already too late.Takes place duringDeathly Hallows.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Once upon a time, Ginny/Snape was my secret OTP. After reading Bitterfig's "Firebolt" and "Ginny's Punishment" by Slytherinjunkie, I felt inspired to write a story about their relationship while Snape is Headmaster at Hogwarts. 
> 
> Rating will go up in next chapter.

Darkness had descended upon the castle she once considered a second home. With Dumbledore gone, everything that had once given Hogwarts its innocence died with him. Now memories of her first year tickled at the back of her mind during the day, and rose unbidden at night.

Ginny shifted against the pillow, trying valiantly to fall asleep. Luckily, more than half the girl’s dormitory was empty after their parents had removed them from the school, so she wasn’t worried about waking anyone with noise.

Alone was sometimes a good thing.

She didn’t want to remember, and of course, there was no one she could talk to who would understand. She wanted Tom to stay locked up in a horrible corner of her mind. After her first year, Ginny had pushed down the memories and never revisited them. So what if she was now terrified of the sight of blood, and could never bring herself to write in a diary again? Sometimes terrible things happen, and it was best to just move on.

But now she knew it wasn’t so easy. She realized he had always been with her, and had provided a sole source of comfort and intimacy before, of course, he began to direct her body like a marionette. Tom Riddle had understood Ginny as no one else did, whispered encouragements in her ear, helped her realize that she was always needed. And wanted.

Oh, how she desired to be wanted.

With an unsteady breath, Ginny reached down, dragging up the hem of her gown and clasping a hand over her sex. Squeezing her eyes shut, she pressed down on the fabric of her panties, making circles over her clit. Slowly at first, feeling the friction cause sparks to radiate across her skin, giving her goosebumps. Her legs shifted open.

She tried to call up images of Harry. He was so handsome and kind hearted, and even though she wanted to hate him for breaking up with her, she knew he had done it to protect her.

But as she focused on Harry’s face in her mind’s eye, round cheeks morphed into angular ones and a strong jaw, kind eyes to cruel ones, a soft smile to a knowing smirk. It made her uncomfortable, but by then a finger had slipped under panties, rapidly moving across her clit, making her slick and wet. Pain and fear mixed with her growing desire, twining until the emotions were inseparable. Pain, fear, and desire. That was very much Tom, and all that he ever had to give her.

Just like darkness had invaded Hogwarts, it now overtook Ginny’s thoughts. She had never really gotten away from Tom, it seemed. As her hips twisted and arched, however, the image changed one more time. The skin became more sallow, the nose grew large and prominent, a scowl appeared. And when Ginny came, she was too far gone to worry that Headmaster Snape had materialized in her mind. The one who killed Dumbledore. The man who Ginny and many people in the Order viewed as being nearly as evil as Voldemort.

Ginny covered her hand over her eyes, a feeling of horror spreading through her veins and replacing the languid satisfaction of her orgasm.

What was wrong with her?

 

*****

 

_“Accio Alecto’s wand!”_

Ginny gasped as the wand whipped out of the inner pocket of her robes, sweeping across the room into the outstretched hand of Headmaster Snape. He caught it, then turned it around in his palm with a condescending sneer.

“I shouldn’t have to explain to you how supremely stupid your actions are, Miss Weasley. Unless you _enjoy_ getting beaten or injured by the Carrows,” he told her, his voice dripping derision.

Her breath caught in her throat, but she forced herself to exhale, then inhale deeply. Snape had waited until all the other students had filtered out of the classroom. Ironically, the potions classroom. Ginny drew herself up to full height.

“Alecto was encouraging us to practice _Crucio_ on first year students. She deserved to get her wand stolen,” Ginny snapped, hoping to match Snape’s condescending tone with her own. Still, as he stalked toward her with that same impassive expression he always wore, Ginny’s heart stuttered in her chest. She took a step back. _Breathe in and out,_ she reminded herself. _This isn’t Tom. He can’t control me._

At her defiant scowl, Snape’s lips formed a thin line. He grabbed her jaw, thumb and forefinger digging into her cheeks. “Stealing anything, let alone a teacher’s wand, is grounds for expulsion, Miss Weasley,” he hissed. “At minimum, I should send you to the Carrows for punishment, and you will likely end up in the infirmary!”

She looked him in the eyes. “Then do it,” she said defiantly.

Snape didn’t react. His impassive gaze traveled up and down her face. Ginny wanted to be brave, but the strange feelings from her dreams were bubbling to the surface. She was uncomfortable, her skin feeling too tight for her body, her feet itching to flee.  

“Please,” she whispered, and cringed at how weak her voice sounded. Her heavy breath filled the silence, which for some reason caused Snape’s lips to turn up in a subtle smirk. They were so close, she could see her image reflected in his liquid black pupils, his greasy hair clinging to his cheeks, the minty smell of his breath filling her nose. There was something electric that ran between them, causing goosebumps to spread across her arms and legs, and whatever boundaries were there seemed to dissolve.

Snape’s hand came up. He pressed a thumb to her lower lip and dragged down. “Such an insolent mouth,” he muttered. The air around them crackled with an electric heat. Like prey trapped in a serpent’s stare, Ginny froze, her eyes locked with his own. She was afraid to move, afraid to speak. Surely, Snape would take advantage, she thought. If his consciense allowed him to kill Dumbledore and fight by Voldemort’s side, he would also be willing to have his way with one of his students.

And why did that thought send a thrill of both desire and fear through her? She...she should be disgusted with his proximity. Just like Tom…

The Headmaster blinked, then stepped back one pace, then two more. “Fifty points from Gryffindor,” he said softly, almost as an afterthought. He looked down and traced Alecto’s wand with his thumb. When he looked back up at Ginny, the air had shifted back to normal, from hot to cool. He glowered at her. “You will also serve detention with Filch for the remainder of the month. After class and every weekend.”

Ginny blanched. That probably wasn’t as bad as the cruciatus, but it was still seriously unpleasant. Snape looked over her form again, down to her feet to the top of her head, before turning on his heels and stalking out of the room without another word.

She leaned against the cold stone wall, pressed the back of her hand to her lips that still tingled from Snape’s touch. Slowly, her legs gave way and she collapsed to the floor, her clothing catching on the rough surface of the wall, causing her hair and robes to settle in disarray.

Thinking of Snape standing over her, the feel of his heat and intense scrutiny, made her shiver. Ginny ached for something she wasn’t willing to name.

 

*****

 

“Is everything all right, Ginny?”

“Hmm?” Ginny snapped out of her reverie and looked at Luna. Her friend’s gaze, typically so ethereal, was fixed on Ginny with unusual lucidity. The sun was setting in the Forbidden Forest, and they were wrapping up their “punishment” with Hagrid. They needed to return to school before nightfall because of the dangers in the forest, but spending time with Hagrid was really no punishment. Snape had to know that, for Merlin’s sake!

“You haven’t been talking very much lately. Is something wrong?” Luna asked her.

“Oh,” Ginny murmured, tucking a strand of red hair behind an ear and avoiding eye contact with Luna. The last thing she wanted was for her friends to find out about her weird attraction to Snape, or the fact that she was getting sucked back into memories of Tom ever since Death Eaters took over the school. It was all too easy to imagine their expressions of shock and repulsion. “I’ve just been thinking about...Harry. And Hermione and my brother. Wondering if they’re okay.”

Luna nodded. “That’s understandable. We’re all worried about them.”

“Yeah…” Ginny watched Neville approach, sweaty from the exertion of feeding one of Hagrid’s terrifying pets, and they waved goodbye to Hagrid. Twilight made shadows seem longer, more overwhelming as they approached the school, the darkness that Hogwarts cast eating away at the light.

“Look, it’s Professor Snape!” Luna exclaimed, pointing to a figure by the lake. He was walking slowly, as if taking a stroll by the Forbidden Forest at night was just a normal excursion. Ginny sped up, and Luna and Neville took the hint and walked faster, so they could avoid intersecting his path.

_Too late_ , she thought desperately, as Snape’s scowl and prominent nose became more visible. He stood in their path and looked at them, sizing them up, and casting a sneer in Neville’s direction. They came to a stop.

They stared at one another, with Ginny glaring at him.

“If you ever do anything so reckless again, in flagrant disregard for the rules, your punishment will be infinitely more severe,” he said darkly, referring to their attempt to steal the Sword of Gryffindor.

“Just wait until the Order wins,” Ginny replied with narrowed eyes. “You and your Dark Lord are dead!” Ginny thought she heard Neville’s breath catch, but didn’t bother turning to check.  

Snape drew himself up, clutching his cloak closer like a bat, and took a step forward. Neville and Luna retreated, but Ginny stood her ground. He was much taller than her, but she refused to feel intimidated.

“You know,” he drawled, “I always thought your brother...what was the name, Ron?...was the biggest dunderhead of all the Weasleys. Of course, those twins were vying for that position, but at least their inventions were clever. You, Miss Weasley, have supplanted all of your brothers as the most moronic Weasley of all.”

Ginny laughed, but her stomach hurt. “Why is that? _You_ were the one who was too stupid to secure the wards in your office.”

His expression darkened, and he leaned down, only a few inches from her face. “Making missteps at this time could result in...permanent...consequences.”

She felt a warm hand touch her shoulder, a silent plea, but Ginny shook it off. “I’ve already experienced permanent consequences as a result of You-Know-Who. You can tell your _master_ that he doesn’t scare me anymore. I’ll fight him until my last breath!”

Snape blinked, giving her a convoluted look that Ginny had never seen before, and backed away. The sun had finally settled below the horizon, and it was becoming difficult to make out anything in the shadows. The fire that had given her the courage to speak dimmed, and the cold began to seep into her clothes, making her shiver.

“The only master here will be the one doling out your next punishment. But only if you continue to rebel.” he said this in a monotone, as if their conversation already bored him, and left without looking back.

“That was brave, Ginny,” Neville said in a rush, “but suicidal. I’m on board for causing trouble for Snape and the other Death Eaters here, but you talked down to him to his face!”

Ginny’s eyes narrowed at Snape’s retreating back. “But he didn’t do anything, did he?”

Neville paused. “No, you’re right...he didn’t punish us or even dock house points. The Carrows probably would have tortured us.”

Ginny felt Luna’s hand on her shoulder once again. “Be careful, Ginny. I see darkness there, even if he doesn’t always act on it.”

Her chest tightened; something rose in her throat. “I know.”

 

*****

 

She clawed her way to the surface of consciousness, the mocking smile of a young man threatening to drag her back under.

Moonlight poured in through the windows of Gryffindor tower. Ginny glanced outside and saw that the moon was almost completely full. Her mind drifted to Lupin, wondering how he was doing now that Snape no longer brewed the Wolfsbane potion for him. There was nothing to control the werewolf, so the werewolf likely controlled the man. Snape had helped him tame the darkness for a while.

She pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, pushing down the memories of more nightmares. Would Tom ever give her peace?

Would she ever feel normal again?

She stumbled out of bed, feeling disoriented, her body still tired but her mind awake. She put on a worn, burgundy robe from her closet--while she didn’t get hand-me-downs like her brothers, most of her clothing was still secondhand donations--and slipped out of Gryffindor tower.

Hogwarts felt eerie at night, a dank castle that was normally bustling with students, now consumed by silence. She decided to climb to the top of the Astronomy Tower, feeling relief as she ascended the steps to get away from students, away from the chaos that had overtaken her once beloved school. Created by _him_ , the one who had killed Dumbledore, the one who was running the school and had appointed Death Eaters to oversee students, the one who for unknown reason was going extremely lenient on them. Ginny wondered if he wanted something from her, or wanted something from Harry through association, but that wouldn’t explain his behavior in the potions classroom. He could have pushed, but he didn’t.

At the top of the tower she stood on the ledge, the wind stirring her hair and tugging at her gown. The forest below was so dark it looked like a bottomless pit. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The air felt cool on her skin, and she could smell dew.

After leaning over the precipice for some time, a deep voice said behind her, “what are you doing here?”

Ginny started in surprise, but was luckily clinging to a pillar and wasn’t at risk of tumbling over the edge. She turned around, shocked to see Snape approaching her slowly, a frown creasing his brow (although when was he not frowning?) Thinking back, she realized his voice had seemed a little panicked and almost...concerned.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came up here,” she replied, surprised at her own openness. Typically, she would snap at him and refuse to answer any questions.

“You should back away from that window, Weasley.”

She blinked at him, searching his face. He gave away nothing in his expression, but she realized how this must look. Like she was about to jump. The idea seemed ridiculous, but her careless behavior of late perhaps made it a possibility to Snape. Still…

“Why do you care?” she whispered, not bothering to explain what she meant.

The Headmaster made a noise that could have been a snort, but he stopped a few paces from her, as if he were concerned that she might change her mind if he came to close. Her head tilted in bemusement.

“You’re my responsibility Miss Weasley, just like every other student in this school,” he said dryly, “insolent or no.”

Feeling brave, she stepped away from the pillar and came closer to him. Ginny felt powerful, which made no sense, because she was wearing vulnerable clothing and had forgotten to bring her wand. Yet the way Snape was looking at her, his eyes trailing over her hair and running down her frame, made her wonder who was really in control.

“Is this where you did it? Where you killed the _real_ Headmaster?”

Snape scowled at her, and said almost to himself, “no matter how much you’re warned or threatened, self-preservation never seems to kick in.” He waved at her clothing, or lack thereof. “Your outfit is entirely inappropriate. That should only be something that’s worn _inside_ the girl’s dormitory.”

“I’m covered up. Why, do like what you _see,_ Snape?”

His lips formed into a thin line. “Yes.”

Ginny’s eyes widened. In a way she had already known the truth, but she was more surprised than anything that he had admitted to it. And now that he was reaching out, running his fingers through strands of hair and gazing at it intently, she realized it was her own fault for being so close he could touch her.

“Your hair,” he murmured, voice almost dreamy but eyes sharp and clear, “reminds me of someone I knew before. At nighttime it looks darker. So much like her.”

Her bravery had retreated her again. She felt frozen, captivated once again by Snape’s voice, his touch.

He tucked the hair hiding her face behind one ear. “Intelligent and brave, and good-hearted.” Snape’s hand finally lifted away, as if he hadn’t already crossed a boundary by stroking her hair. “But you’re just a child. Uncorrupted…” His eyes slid shut and he shook his head, but he didn’t move away.

Ginny’s eyes became unfocused. “Uncorrupted? No...I was corrupted a long time ago. I don’t feel normal.” Her hands dragged over the front of her robe, as if checking to ensure she was still there. She dropped her head. “He’s still there. I thought I was free from him, but he never left.”

“Who?”

“I can’t…” Her body finally began to respond to her commands again, and she backed away. Snape grabbed her wrist.

“ _Who_ is bothering you?” he demanded. The greasy git she remembered from Potions class had apparently made a comeback. “Tell me. Who is harassing you?”

“You should talk, Snape!” she cried, trying but failing to twist out of his grip.

He pulled her close, his other hand moving to the middle of her back, and she felt her small breasts press against his chest. Her face flushed in shame...and something else. Ginny wondered if he could feel the pounding of her heart.

Fed up, she decided to stare him down instead of escaping. “You want to know who hurt me, and continues to harass me? Your _master._ Tom Marvolo Riddle. He took over my body, made me...do things. I couldn’t control my body, I couldn’t block him out of my mind! He was _evil_.” Ginny didn’t have a free hand to cover her eyes, so she dropped her forehead to Snape’s chest, fought against the burn of tears. “Harry defeated him in the Chamber of Secrets, but now I wonder if he ever really left me. I have...dreams…”

The Headmaster fell silent. Even though she fought it, a tear slipped down her cheek. She had to be brave! Harry, her brothers, her parents were all counting on her! She couldn’t be weak, or allow the enemy to see her as weak.

“I didn’t realize that he was the one you were referring to, although that..makes sense. I remember what happened the first year you were at Hogwarts,” he murmured.

Ginny’s hand slid up, curling around his elbow and then tracing his forearm with her thumb, over the images of a skull that she knew was there but couldn’t see in the darkness. He froze. “Yes,” Ginny said softly, “I wondered if you’d understand.”

They’re both tied to him, she realized, although for Ginny it was against her will. Snape seemed to have embraced Tom’s agenda.

They held that position for long time, and Ginny decided that Snape could probably hear her heartbeat because she could feel his, beating against her ribs. She was surprised that he didn’t pull away, and instead allowed her to trace his mark, pushing through the hem of his cloak to feel along his soft skin. She was trembling. This time, a hard length was digging into her hip.

He finally let go of her wrist, cradled her cheek with his hand, and pressed their lips together.

He kissed Ginny passionately, not at all with the cold aloofness she would have expected. Warm, soft lips, a possessive tongue, and she felt as though he might devour her. His hands roamed over her form, stroking her seductively. She tried to match his passion with her own, feeling that fire stoking in her womb. She ran her fingers under his cloak, and he moaned into the kiss.

Snape lowered her to the ground, and the cold stones pressed into her back brought her back to reality.

“Wait!” He broke away hesitantly, gazing down at her with heavy lidded eyes. “You...you have to promise me that you won’t hurt Harry! That _they_ won’t hurt him...”

Snape’s eyes narrowed, and the chill from the tower finally caught up with her, seeping under her skin. “What does that _brat_ have to do with anything that’s happening now?”

Fury rose in her chest, matching his own. “ _Everything_ you _greasy git._ You killed Dumbledore! I won’t let you hurt someone else I love!”

He blinked slowly and let her go, and she collapsed to the ground. Her robe spilled open, and she blushed at the scrutiny her chest attracted, even if it was partially covered by the collar, though barely.

“You really are nothing like her,” he sneered, deliberately looking over her form in innuendo.

Pressing her legs to the side, Ginny had a funny sensation like she was floating. The familiar darkness tinged the edges of her consciousness, and she recognized the sadness and lonely isolation that came on its heels. “Not like who?” she whispered, but he was already disappearing down the stairs.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Quidditch practice was a respite from this nightmare, Ginny concluded as she laughed and zoomed across the grass, running her fingers through the soft blades. Flying made her feel free, and allowed her to escape the anxiety she had been experiencing in a school controlled by Death Eaters. Her hair whipped around her face, creating a red, tangled blur.

She caught Seamus Finnegan staring at her, and wondered if the joy she felt was apparent on her face. Teammates circled under her, but she decided to fly to the very top of the tower, and then flipped so that she was upside down on her broom. The blood rushed to her head, and she clung to her broom with her legs, letting her arms fall down. She felt almost like she was free falling, dangling in the air above the Quiddich field. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she took in an exhilarated breath, reveling in the sensation.

"Ginny, come down from there!" one of her friends called out laughing, and a few others jeered in agreement. She ignored them, pressing the broom forward so that she was slowly spinning in the sky. Ginny debated whether or not she should test her speed and drop to the grass, maybe run her fingers through it a second time as she blazed across the field.

Everyone became silent, the laughter and jeers of her friends drained from the field like a cork pulled from a plug. Ginny looked around, and saw Snape standing at the edge of the grass. She recognized the black robes, lanky hair and large nose, but he was too distant for her to make out his expression. Ginny's heart plummeted, and she felt both angry and sad. She understood the anger, but why would she ever feel sad? People capable of the kind of evil acts that Snape had committed didn't deserve any emotion beyond contempt. She scowled, turning her broom and rising again to the top of the pitch, doing her best to ignore him. When she finally looked back down, he was gone.

Seamus drifted to her, hovering at her level. He had a perplexed frown on his face, distorting his freckles. "What was that about? That prick was staring at you."

Her stomach turned. "He probably just wanted to deduct house points. The way I was flying was dangerous."

He snorted. "Hardly. If I didn't suspect that Snape was a eunich, I would think he wanted to shag you. He was staring at you like--"

"Don't even go there, Seamus!" Ginny snapped, more harshly than she intended. He had the decency to flush.

"Sorry, Ginny. I know it's gross, I've just never seen him look at anyone like that before. He seemed like an asexual kind of Death Eater."

Ginny's mind drifted to the way Snape had kissed her in the tower, the passionate way his mouth moved against her own, and she shivered. "Let's just...play. And stop talking."

He gave her a funny look, but smiled. The other players were circling around them. "Sure." Before he flew away though, Seamus leaned closer, his breath tickling Ginny's ear. "Don't worry about Snape. McGonnagall would kill him if he tried anything. Sorry I even mentioned it."

"You're right, Seamus," she lied. "There's nothing to worry about."

 

*****

 

Ginny felt the weight of Snape's stare throughout dinner, but whenever she looked up to the Headmaster's chair, he was focused on his food. She shivered. She didn't understand what was happening between them. This wasn't normal. Well, at least this shouldn't be normal with _him_.

She thought about using his attraction of her to her advantage, perhaps manipulating him in a way that would help Harry or the Order, but he didn't seem like the type who would be oblivious to something like that. He was able to deceive Dumbledore for many years, after all. Plus, even though Ginny was good at keeping secrets, she was a terrible liar. There was a reason she wasn't sorted into Slytherin.

And that...feeling she got whenever she saw his intense dark eyes, regal demeanor, or long, slender fingers? That was nothing. There was no way she desired a horrible, greasy, cruel, murderous git.

Ginny sighed and stabbed her vegetables with a fork, scraping the plate. Neville and few other Griffyndors shot her curious glances and a couple of raised eyebrows, but said nothing.

 

*****

 

She thought about luring Snape to her. Then she could confront him again and figure out whatever this _something_ was between them. Maybe she would stop thinking about him at night when she tried to sleep, or memories of his warm lips would no longer haunt her when she attempted to focus in class. He had disappeared, and Ginny only saw him during meals, which made her suspicious that he was deliberately avoiding her. Ginny scowled. For someone with enough balls to kill Dumbledore in his own school, the man could act cowardly.

Ginny came upon a group of third year Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff students, cowering before the Carrows, who were looking at them like they were delectable pieces of meat. She felt rage bubble quickly to the surface of her skin, causing goosebumps.

"What are you doing?!" she demanded, planting her fists on her hips. A few of the kids gasped, looking at Ginny with a mixture of shock and a little awe. Maybe she should be worried, because Neville and Luna didn't have her back this time, but she couldn't bring herself to care.

Amycus Carrow sneered at her, and Alecto shot her a delighted smirk. They approached her, circling Ginny on opposite sides. The third year students scurried away, leaving Ginny alone with the Death Eaters.

Alecto gave Ginny a wide smile. "Perfect. I can finally pay you back for stealing my wand." She flicked her wrist. _"Crucio!"_

Blinding, horrible pain. Ginny collapsed, screaming. This was so, so much worse than anything she expected. She felt like liquid lava was poured over her skin, like she was being stabbed with a thousand knives, like--

Alecto ended the curse, and Ginny gasped deeply, feeling like her bones had turned into liquid. Her world became the pulse of her heartbeat, blood pounding in her head.

"My turn," said Amycus, a bored note in his voice, as if torturing students was a chore to be endured. " _Crucio_."

Again, Ginny screamed. She was drowning in pain.

She heard voices, as if from far away, and eventually, the excrutiating pain ceased. Ginny felt exhausted, and blearily opened her eyes to find Snape gazing down with her, an unreadable expression on his pale face.

Her mouth slipped open to say something, even if it was only his name, but he grabbed her arm and yanked her to feet. "You can be assured that her punishment will be infinitely worse," he said silkily, earning twin smiles from the Carrows.

"The Headmaster will make sure you pay for being such an insolent little twit," she heard Alecto laugh. Ginny was too dazed to respond.

He dragged her along, and Ginny tried to use her feet, but was barely able to stand on even one leg. "Please..." she whispered, and cringed out how weak her voice sounded, at how weak she felt.

Snape ignored her, pulling her up the steps to the headmaster's office, muttering the password under his breath so that the gargoyle would let them pass, and then practically threw her into the chair across from his desk. He sat down behind the desk, and steepled his fingers.

Ginny trembled, leaned forward, preparing to empty her stomach. She had no idea the _Cruciatus Curse_ could be this bad.

"That hurt..." Ginny whimpered, not really caring if she sounded pathetic.

"Griffyndors certainly have a talent for understating the obvious," Snape replied in a bored tone, arranging a couple of scrolls on his desk. Then, he sighed. "Please tell me, Miss Weasley. Do you have some kind of death wish? All that is required of you is to keep your head down, don't antagonize certain authority figures, and finish the school year with decent marks. Yet you are failing spectacularly at two of those three."

Ginny rubbed her eyes, feeling her anger take over as her body's shock receded. "This is war. Doing nothing helps the enemy. People think doing nothing is neutral, but it's still a choice."

"How deep and morally cathartic of you," he sneered, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Do explain to me how antagonizing individuals who have the means to hurt you, and who you are unable to properly defend yourself from, is helping your cause at all."

She grimaced, but didn't reply. Still, she whispered, "I don't regret anything. If I saved at least one of those third years from getting tortured, it was worth it."

An arched eyebrow made Ginny realize that Snape wasn't there witness the Carrows threatening a group of younger students, or her steps to intervene. Maybe it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but she didn't care.

Now that she wasn't doubled over in pain, she glanced around the office. A few of the portraits were empty and at least one showed a dozing older woman, but there were still several Headmasters gazing down at her with keen eyes. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at her and he gave her a smile of commiseration. It made Ginny's heart ache, which led to another irrational choice.

"What would you know about sacrifice and doing the right thing, Snape? After what you've done, how could you still have Dumbledore's portrait hanging in your office?" she spat. "How can you even look yourself in the mirror?!"

His eyes narrowed. A couple of Headmasters chortled, and Dumbledore just wore a sad expression. Ginny drew herself up to full height and raised her chin. Yes, maybe she didn't make the smartest choices, but considering this man's actions, it was worth it.

"Get out," Snape spat.

Ginny felt her cheeks burn. "No."

Snape raised his other eyebrow. "No? Do you want me to hurt you?"

"You're not going to hurt me."

His chair screeched as he came to his feet. Then he stalked around the desk and loomed over her. Ginny met his glare, and while his posture was intimidating, the deep, dark pools of his irises seemed to tell a different story. No anger, just something that strangely mirrored her pain and isolation.

He grabbed her chin. "And how do you think I might hurt you?"

Startled, Ginny tried to pull away, but it was too late. His grip was strong, and he wouldn't let her worm free from his grasp.

"I...I meant physically," she said in a low voice, as if afraid speaking too loud would elicit his anger.

"Have you considered how selfish your actions are?" he said softly, studying her face. "By throwing yourself into danger? There are so many people counting on him, Ginevra, does he really need to be worrying or grieving over you now?"

Her eyes widened at the mention of her first name, and then he swooped down to kiss her. He wasn't aggressive, as he lips molded against hers, but his actions almost seemed manipulative; he waited for her lips move against his, and subtly coaxed her lips to part. He slipped a tongue inside, and she froze.

He finally pulled back and gazed down at her with heavy lidded eyes. "You can be brave, but don't be stupid." His thumb dragged over her lower lip, and her eyes slid shut.

His fingernails dug into her cheeks, his grip painfully tight, before he released her and stalked behind his desk. "Get out," he snarled, his back to Ginny. She scrambled to her feet, more than willing to comply this time. As she raced down the stairs, she tried to ignore how her lips tingled, the yearning in her chest. This was so wrong. She couldn't look back.

 

*****

 

Ginny had collapsed at her desk, her scrolls and books sprawled out around her in an aborted attempt to finish her Charms assignment, when everything came together with a _click_.

She blinked sleepily awake, the epiphany having come to her in that dreamy state between sleep and awareness. Everything made sense. Snape's weird animosity combined with protectiveness of Harry, Snape's fascination with Ginny and her hair, his comment that she was _nothing like her_.

Snape had been in love with Lily Evans, Harry Potter's mother.

She stumbled to her feet, mind still half conscious, and left Griffyndor tower. No one was awake, the common room dark and empty. She drifted down the winding stairs and walked through the empty hallways at Hogwarts. Blearily, she realized that she had forgotten her robes and was only wearing her white shift, but she couldn't turn back now. She had to know the truth.

Standing in front of the Headmaster's door, she chewed on her lip, brimming with nerves. What if she was wrong?

"Lily Evans," she whispered to the gargoyle, and the door swung open.

Ginny exhaled slowly. What did this mean? Had Snape turned to the dark side because Lily had chosen Harry's father over Snape? She didn't know how to feel about that.

It was difficult to see in the darkness, and most of the portraits of the headmasters were empty, although a few were asleep in their frames. She walked to the only other door on the other end of the room, and pushed through.

Snape was staring into the flames, and hovering in the fireplace was the image of Voldemort's face. They had been speaking in low voices, but as soon as she entered, their heads whipped around to look at her. Snape's mouth dropped open, his eyes glittering darkly with either fury or shock. Probably both. Voldemort had deep, dark eyes that made Ginny shiver.

Maybe this wasn't a good idea.

"Who is this, Severus?"

"Just a... _useless twit_ who somehow wandered into the Headmaster's personal chambers." Snape's voice somehow shifted from soft and threatening to venomous in a single sentence. Ginny's feet felt heavy, she was frozen. It was a testament to her growing terror that she couldn't bring herself to care about his insult.

"Hmm, she does look familiar," Voldemort said slowly, his voice full of calculated knowing. "How do I know her?"

Ginny shut her eyes and she swallowed. He had haunted her for so many years, and now he was looking at her again, talking about her like she wasn't there. The shadows were closing in. The nightmare never ends.

"I assure you, my lord, she's just another stu--"

"Lucius," Voldemort said with growing realization apparent in his voice. "The book. She had my book."

Snape didn't respond. He seemed frozen, his lips slightly parted, like he wasn't sure what to do. This was the first time she had ever seen her professor speechless. And instead of enjoying it, she really wished he could say something clever to get her out of this situation. Away from this evil being who had diverted her path and devastated her mind and heart.

"Bring her to me," Voldemort ordered Snape, and he disappeared from the flames.

Snape's gaze swung from the fireplace back to Ginny. His hands clenched, and his shoulders squared, like he was steeling himself, then he began to march forward.

Finally, Ginny found the courage to speak. "I'm...I'm sorry I came here. Something occurred to me and I--"

He grabbed her by her upper arm. "It doesn't matter anymore. Come with me. Whatever you do, don't speak. Let me do the talking. Do you understand?"

"Yes. But--"

"Just do what I say, and we can make it out of this alive." Ginny's skin prickled with mounting fear. He dragged her back to the fireplace, grabbed a handful of Floo powder, and threw it into the pit. A flare of green flames, and he pushed her through.

On the other end, they materialized in a dark room with high ceilings. Ginny took a ragged breath. The air was damp, and there was singed quality to the air, almost as if a fire had recently been put out. Panicking, Ginny whimpered and leaned back, straining against Snape's grip.

"Where is that Gryffindor courage of yours?" he snapped. "Have you forgotten what I just said to you?"

"I-I can't..." Her voice was a quiet rasp. Her eyes darted around the room for any signs of _him_. "T-Tom...he's there, he's back..."

"Weasley, you cannot fight this. For your own safety. Come with me and keep your mouth shut!"

Ginny had the impulse to wriggle free and run from Snape, but the reality of this situation became clear to her. She had forgotten her wand back in the girls' dormitory at Gryffindor tower, so even if she escaped, she had no way to defend herself. A glance at the fireplace showed no signs of Floo powder. The only way out of this situation was through it. Ginny mentally berated herself for ever trusting Snape and allowing this weird bond between them to grow and fester. She should have ignored him, avoided the Carrows, dropped out of school...

"Enough," he said firmly, but without the same malice as before. His gaze took in her features, and whatever he saw there must have elicited some concern, because he added, "I will protect you. I promise."

"How?" Ginny said a little desperately. "You can't even protect yourself from him!"

He drew back in surprise, but it shifted quickly into anger. His grip on her arm tightened. "That's good that you realize the severity of this situation. Maybe you'll think twice about stumbling into the _Headmaster's_ quarters as if you lived there, hmm?"

Ginny bit her lip. "I...I have something to tell, well, to ask you..."

"Later. The Dark Lord is waiting."


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was MUCH longer than I expected it to be! I was hoping for a gritty story where they couldn't keep their hands off each other, but it took a long time for Snape to come around. 
> 
> I would LOVE feedback! Thank you for reading! <3

He dragged her forward, and in order to maintain some pride, Ginny caught up to him so they were walking at the same pace. He took her down a hallway, and then toward a room with an open door, a warm light emanating from it, likely from candles or a fireplace. 

Snape's grip on her upper arm softened, but everything else about his posture and countenance became more rigid. Like he was slipping on a mask. Ginny shivered, cursing herself for leaving the dorms in only a small slip. She felt so cold, in part because of the man who walked with her. 

"I won't let any of them touch you," he said such a low voice that she almost didn't make it out. As if he were reading her thoughts.

She wished he was holding her hand instead of her arm, but she clutched a handful of his robes instead. Yes, she could do this. The thought that growing up with six older brothers might be worse than anything Voldemort could do to her even made her smile a little. 

They strode into the room, and Ginny took in as much as she could all at once. She saw Lucius sitting with another Death Eater playing what look like Exploding Snap, which was a ridiculous sight; Ginny had visions of Death Eaters torturing puppies and kittens, not sitting around playing children's games. There was Bellatrix in the corner flicking sparks out of the tip of her wand with a bored expression on her face, and there he was, Voldemort, sitting next to a roaring fire, and a handful of wizards seated near him. There were a few other Death Eaters scattered around the room, talking, but Snape ignored them and pulled her close to the fire, a few feet before Voldemort. Ginny was grateful for the warmth of the fire, and felt naked and exposed in front of these people who were wearing many layers of robes. Almost all of them stopped what they were doing to look at Ginny. 

Voldemort leaned forward, his pale, ghastly face nothing like what she remembered of the handsome Tom Riddle. Unconsciously, Ginny pulled closer to Snape, absorbing his body heat in the chilly room. Voldemort smiled, or at least, his face contorted into a mockery of one. 

"Yesss." He reached out with a bony hand. "Step closer, child." 

Snape released her arm and gently pressed her back, moving her forward. She took a few steps, reminding herself to breathe. She knew her eyes was big and she probably looked terrified, but she didn't care. This was her nightmares materialized. She could never escape him. 

Voldemort took her chin with a thumb and forefinger and tilted it down so that she would look him in the eyes. She felt a pressure at her temples, and realized he might be practicing Occlumency on her. Then he released her.

"It would seem that I left an impression." Voldemort projected his voice so that it would carry in the large room. "She remembers me quite well."

Soft laughter around them, but Ginny was too scared to turn her head. 

"Although she's thinking that I'm not as _handsome_ as I once was. From what she remembered from her...encounter, with my diary." He adjusted in his seat and didn't seem remotely bothered that Ginny thought he was now ugly. "Such a lovely face. I'm not surprised at all that my younger self would attempt to seduce a beauty like this one."

Ginny blinked slowly. Did this mean that Voldemort didn't share memories or experiences with the version that possessed her all those years ago? 

"Now what are you doing with her, Severus?"

She heard Snape clear his throat. "This girl is a troublemaker, my Lord. She's found ways to break through my wards, even stole the sword of Gryffindor..."

Voldemort smiled in a condescending way. "Ah, but that isn't why she followed you into your rooms tonight. Is it?" 

A pause, then, "I'm not sure what you mean, my Lord." Voldemort motioned for him to step closer and Snape obeyed, walking a few paces so he was standing next to Ginny. 

Voldemort braced himself on his chin and gave Ginny a long look. "Why don't you tell him what I saw?"

"We're shagging!" Ginny declared. For an irrational moment, she thought that might help. For a few heartbeats there was complete silence, then several Death Eaters burst into laughter. Snape looked down at Ginny, and she looked back. His expression was one of disbelief, but his face grew red and Ginny had flashbacks of his angry tirades that culminated into docked House points. 

"She is _exaggerating_ ," Snape hissed, glaring down at her. 

"This girl does resemble someone else, does she not? Someone _dear_ to your heart," Voldemort drawled in a mocking voice. 

Snape paled, and Ginny felt... _something_ for him. She felt sad for this man that his private emotions were getting exposed, but she really shouldn't care. He was one of the bad guys. Right? 

"Isn't that Harry Potter's little girlfriend?" called Bellatrix. More laughter, and a few whispers. 

"We broke up a few months ago," Ginny informed them, as if that really mattered. 

"Yes, Draco told me that they've been dating for a few months," Lucius called out from across the room, as if she hadn't said anything. "And her brother is best friends with Harry Potter. Ronald Weasley. The little coward is hiding out in the woods with Potter now." 

"This can be advantageous for many reasons," Voldemort intoned thoughtfully. "We can discuss this in more detail later, Severus. And of course, you're certainly permitted to have some fun on the side of your duties." His gaze traveled up and down Ginny's frame, but his expression was amused. Ginny shivered, feeling naked and a little disgusted. Her hands formed fists at her side. 

"Of course, my Lord," Snape said in a subdued voice. "Is there anything else?"

"That's all, Severus. Report back to me tomorrow." He flashed Ginny an unnerving smile. "And yes, child, what you've been wondering is true. Dark magic can create unbreakable cords between wizards and witches. Even if I don't remember...for now."

Ginny didn't know what to say to that. She felt so dirty, tainted. There was another snide comment that she didn't make out, and Snape's lips twisted as the other Death Eaters erupted into another round of laughter. He guided her out of the room, and she permitted this, in a residual state of shock. 

"Didn't I tell you to keep your mouth shut?" he murmured, but there was no heat in his words. After following a few winding halls, he took her to a completely separate room with a fireplace and Floo powder, and they returned to his chambers.

They stood in the common area of his quarters, and Snape turned to the fireplace, his back to her. Her legs felt so weak, she wanted to collapsed to the floor. 

A long pause, and then, "I would appreciate it if you could keep what happened tonight a secret."

Ginny gaped at him. "You can't be serious. Why would I keep this a secret?"

"I cannot tell you." He turned to her, his expression guarded. "But I do know that your mother will try to remove you from this school, and you should not go. You're safer here."

Ginny laughed. "Safer! Why would you think that?"

"Because I can, and _will_ , protect you here," he said with a straight face.

She shook her head. "You heard what Voldemort said. He might have plans for me. It would be stupid for me to stay here..."

He took a few steps to her. "I promise I'll keep you safe." Then he was holding her in an embrace, his sharp fingers curled over her shoulders. "Please, Ginny."

She realized then that he was probably lying to himself, and to her. There was really no way for him to protect her. "You don't want me to go. You don't want me to leave you," she whispered. 

A bitter sob, and then he was kissing her again desperately, his tongue slipping into her mouth without invitation. His hands cupped the back of her head and their lips crushed together. And Ginny realized she was craving this, had wanted it for weeks now, and involuntarily moaned. She broke away though, her ribs trembling. 

"You only want me because I look like Lily." For some reason, tears welled up in her eyes. Why did she care? 

"You're so much much more than Lily," he said hoarsely, so close to her lips. "Lily rejected me when she saw me at my worst. She never looked beneath the surface. You kept coming back, Ginevra. You never gave up." He kissed her again. 

And then she was drowning in sensation, allowing the floodgates loose. She kissed him back with the same abandon, fingers slipping into his robes to the layers underneath, longing for more contact. This was Snape, her childhood tormentor, the one who killed Dumbledore, the man who went out of the way to save her from the Carrows and avoid harsh punishment, the one who looked at her at the top of that tower like she was the only one who really understood him. And maybe he was the only one who understood her.

Her hands tangled into his lank hair. He caressed her form as they kissed, but unlike other boys she dated, he didn't grope her. He did pull their bodies together, and Ginny flushed when she felt something hard press into her stomach. 

Somehow, they ended up in his bedroom, dark except for some light filtering in from the common area. He laid her on the bed, and this time, his hands worked the shift up and over her hips as they kissed. 

She tugged at his robes. "You have to undress, too. Not just me."

The way he paused made her wonder how experienced he really was, despite the fact that he was twice her age. Hadn't he ever been naked with a woman before? Not that Ginny had experience with that either, but it only seemed fair if he wanted her to be bare.

He stood up, and Ginny watched him tug off his cloak. Then he undid his belt and removed it, pulled off his shirt. Finally, he was naked before her. He looked much less intimidating without his robes; while his shoulders were broad and he was tall and imposing, he was quite slender, almost too thin. There was a patch of hair, but Ginny was scared to look lower. She had seen one before, but she had never really gotten to the point of being naked with a man before. This felt more intimate. 

He draped himself over her, latching on to her neck, trailing kisses down her throat and tugging her slip over her breasts. Snape broke away, staring down at her form, and she tried not to blush. She knew her body was attractive enough, but she was still self-conscious about her freckles, which covered her chest and stomach. A warm mouth sucking on her breast startled her out of her reverie, and she cried out, tugging at his hair. 

Ginny squirmed. Snape seemed _very_ interested in her breasts. He massaged them, pressed them together, sucked on them. It felt _good._ She curled in pleasure, and couldn't stop moaning. Thank Merlin they were in a room far from the prying ears of her peers. Electric excitement shot across her skin, settling below her belly button. He slipped a hand down her panties, massaging around her clit in slow circles, and even pinched it. 

That just made her more vocal, which seemed to excite Snape; when her moans grew louder, he would let out a breathy gasp. His finger dipped below, finding her entrance, and pushed in. 

"You look like a Goddess like this," he said huskily, "your hair spread out over my sheets. Potter is a lucky man."

Her stomach clenched in discomfort at the mention of her boyfriend. "He broke up up with me," she reminded him.

His mouth pressed against her chest, she felt him smirk. "Yes, all the better for me." Then, his finger began a steady rhythm, wet sound filling the air. Ginny winced; she had reached third base with a couple of boys, but they had never tried to penetrate her before. It hurt a little. Snape's thumb dragged over her clit, though, so the pleasure made it easier. 

When her hips were rocking in time with his movement, he added a second finger. He leaned forward to kiss her again, and Ginny felt overwhelmed with the onslaught of sensations. This felt very, very good. No matter his hesitation of undressing in front of her, it was obvious that Snape was experienced. When he added a third finger, she clung to his shoulders, sweaty and hot, and groaned into the kiss. She felt herself being stretched, and again, there was that pleasure-pain. Blood was rushing in her ears, the sensation so intense that she couldn't stop moving. 

"That's it," he whispered near her ear. "Come undone for me." His hand sped up, and she felt like a coil that contracted, tighter and tighter, until it finally snapped. She came in a rush, contracting around his fingers, cried out in pleasure. 

Snape gazed down at her as he pulled his hand to his lips and tasted her essence, sucking on each digit. She trembled in the aftershock. So _that_ was an orgasm. It felt _amazing_. 

He kissed her, and she tasted herself on his tongue. Leaning over her, she could feel his hardness pressed into her hip. Pulled her hands to either side of her head, he interlocked their fingers, holding her captive in the gentlest way. 

Somehow, Snape manuevered her slip over her head and her panties down her legs. Then they truly were naked, hot and sticky skin pressed together. He trailed kisses down her shoulder, then right above her heart. She touched his shoulders, felt the muscles of his back, then down to his narrow hips. His pale skin seemed to glow in the low light.

He was kissing her again, and then she felt his hard length run up and down her slit. He pressed into her, and she felt the head inching in, stretching her. 

Ginny clung to his back, feeling him press deeper, holding her breath at the pain. Snape braced himself over her smaller frame after he bottomed out. 

After a few seconds of his hot length inside her, filling her up, their breath in sync, she panicked. She scrambled, pushing him with her palms and squirming, which only made him groan. 

"Wait, wait! Stop. Please, I can't..." Her eyes brimmed with tears, and she felt confused. What had she been thinking? Was this how she wanted to lose her virginity? To an uncouth professor who was in service to Voldemort? 

He froze, looking down at her with wide eyes, clearly concerned. "I'm sorry, Ginny. What's wrong?"

But they had already started down this path months ago, and he was inside her. It was already too late. 

She took a deep breath. "Don't stop. Please, please keep going..." Her arms encircled his chest again, and she wrapped her legs around his hips.

Snape choked back another groan, and he made small thrusts. Eventually, he propped himself by his forearm, snaking it under her shoulders, and kissed her temple. 

"Let me know if it hurts again," he murmured, clearly having misunderstood her pleas for him to stop earlier. Placing the other hand on her hip, his movements picked up pace, creating a delicious friction that was quickly replacing the pain. His thrusts were deep, and she watched his features contort with pleasure as he fucked her. 

Suddenly, he pulled her up at an angle, so he was sitting, but he was holding her weight with strong arms at her low back and shoulder blades, and began bouncing her against him. They both cried out with pleasure, and Ginny felt at his mercy; his hands were the only thing preventing her from falling back onto the bed. She let Snape direct her movements, which became fast and hard, sending sparks throughout her body, causing that sensation to build again. 

"Professor, please don't stop!" she moaned involuntarily, and at that he pulled her to his chest, pressing her down hard and groaning loudly. He came buried deep inside of her, and the coil snapped again, the vision behind her eyes whiting out as she came for a second time that night. 

Their gasps of air filled the dark room. Snape was clinging to her, and didn't seem to want to let her go. 

"Does it...normally feel this good?" she whimpered. Snape chuckled. 

"I would say this was most definitely not normal." He pulled her tighter while she was still sitting on him, his soft length in her body. 

"Are you...are you going to tell Voldemort about this?" she looked over his shoulder, observed a mirror and stack of books in the corner, a wizened chair that made her wonder if it once belonged to Dumbledore.

He stiffened, then muttered, "Perhaps that is a conversation we could have at a more appropriate time?" 

When she didn't respond, he relaxed. He still held her tightly, as if he were afraid to let her go. 

"In all my years, I would never have imagined doing this with a student," he said dryly. 

"Am I irresistible then?" she couldn't help but tease. 

"You are." She felt him growing hard again, and he gasped when she gave an experimental rock of her hips. He shifted then so he was on his back, and gazed up at her with dark eyes. This time, she set her own pace, rocking slowly and turning her hips, making them both groaned in pleasure. Finally, he grasped her hips and directed her movements again, wringing a third orgasm from her. He pulled out, coming all over her stomach. 

He placed a palm to her belly, pressing his cum into her skin. 

"I wish I could keep you here all day," he said hoarsely. "Have you available for me each night when I return to these quarters. But then, we would never get any sleep." He snorted in a self-deprecating way. 

"That's a graphic fantasy, professor. Have you put a lot of thought into it?" He flushed, and she suppressed a grin, stretching out beside him.

"Only with you, Ginevra." His throat bobbed. "I've never had these thoughts about a student before. I knew they were wrong..."

She couldn't help but laugh. "I don't think that's the worst you've ever done." 

He didn't say anything, but turned his head to the corner of the room, gazing off into nothing. She bit her lip. Maybe she should comfort him, but it was the truth. 

And wasn't it also twisted that she desired him, slept with him, the man that killed Dumbledore, wanted to kill Harry, Voldemort's right hand man? 

She didn't feel any regret, though. She just felt this warmth, and something lighter that was finally replacing the dread and darkness that had haunted her for the last few months.

Ginny kissed his cheek. _Thank you,_ she thought, and then searched for her clothing, tugging on her slip and panties. Before returning to the dorms, she paused at the door to look back at Snape, but he was still staring at the corner. 

"I don't know everything that happened to you, but I believe you'll do the right thing in the end. I believe in you." She left before he could respond, secretly hoping that she could sneak back into bed before her friends realized she had ever been away. 

 

*****

 

She blinked blearily awake, the early morning sunlight spilling across her sheets. Near her, on the pillow, was a single rose, a petal or two already falling loose. Startled, Ginny picked it up and gazed at it, feeling the thrum of magic between her fingertips. The flower had probably been charmed to never decay, a common spell, keeping an everlasting red vibrancy. Pressing the flower to her lips, she felt the soft petals and breathed in the airy sweet fragrance. 

Harry had never thought to give her a gift like this. This was a decidedly romantic gesture that she would never have guessed Snape capable of. She curled up in bed, gazing at the rose, conflicting emotions of a warmth and desperate ache settling in her chest. She wondered what his meant for her, for Snape, for the future of the fight against Voldemort. Her eyes slid shut during her musings though, falling back into a peaceful sleep.

Only time would tell.


End file.
